Holding a Strong Image of Children and Boundaries

A strong image of children is foundational to the Reggio Emilia approach. But what does this mean? Do I trust the child and not put any limits because I see them as competent? How does seeing someone as strong and competent affect my practice?

Samuel

I had a two year old, I’ll call him Samuel, who was very high energy. He slammed his body into pillows. He would yell in the middle of play out of excitement. He might have been a fire fighter telling others to move out of the way or a super hero that was looking to save the day.

He would often run out of the classroom to wash his hands, and at times he put soap in the water, cupped it, and began drinking it!

In the moment of seeing Samuel attempt to drink soapy water, I told Samuel in a calm and neutral tone, “Samuel, we don’t drink water with soap. It can make us feel sick.” He paused and then said, “I like the taste Rafa”. He then proceeded to attempt to drink (and probably did get a couple slurps in) when I repeated “no” and picked him up. I walked with him back into the classroom as he put his thumb in his mouth. I then put Samuel down and said “I noticed you really wanted to drink the water with soap.” He nodded as his thumb was in his mouth.

“We don’t drink soap, including in water, because it can make us sick. We can wash our hands with soap or we can continue playing in the classroom. What do you want to do?”

Samuel said, “Play”. And he did.

A Strong Image of Samuel

In reflection, I tapped into a strong image of Samuel. Instead of assuming he wanted to “get me” or defy me, I assumed he was extremely curious about the taste of water with soap. I acknowledged his preference. I also knew that ingesting soap was something that could be very uncomfortable for him. I knew that Samuel could engage in choosing how to spend his day in a way that would avoid him ingesting soap. While hand soap isn’t the worst, I wanted him to learn to avoid cleaning products as there are often more toxic products in households and schools. I also began wondering if there were other ways to explore the taste of objects - maybe he would be interested in comparing the tastes of different foods?

As with any healthy relationship, boundaries that serve safety and connection can lead to a deeper sense of safety for everyone involved in the relationship. I set the boundary in dialogue with Samuel because I believe he’s capable and worthy of the attention to relationship. This in contrast to shaming Samuel or trying to punish him for what he was doing or shutting down any conversation that may arise.

in this case, a strong image of children meant coming from a place of respect and curiosity while also believing children can engage in two way dialogue to both receive and set boundaries and be able to thrive in community.

What are moments where you approached a child with a strong image and how might you continue to bring this into more parts of your practice?